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I write occasional daft emails to fellow members of my woodturning club.  As we get new members, some of them are stupid enough to ask me for some of the older emails.  As time passes and the read them, they will learn never to ask again - but meanwhile I have to dig into my email archives and find old items and then send them one by one to the unlucky recipients.

You would think they would find more useful things to do with their lives than read the sad wittering's of this old fool and try to make something of their lives - but no!  Any that appear here will do so in reverse order, there are many reasons for this, but logic is the main driver.  If there is one thing I have - it is logic.  Not much else to be fair - but I do have logic.

I have only recently worked out how to put the pictures in, so many are still missing.  I will continue to work on it.

85 - KVWT Next Tuesday - back to the club.

I will keep this short – you know me, I don’t like to go on and on!

It has been a bit hectic. You know I have been to Wales twice now in recent weeks, don’t tell Martin “Taffy” Evans for goodness sake or I’ll never hear the last of it.

I won’t keep you long, I have to take the Memsahib to Hospital for a pre-op sort of appointment thingy. I did tell her – I said I am not a fully qualified doctor – but if you get undressed I’ll have a damn good look!

So what is happening now then…

  1. Tuesday members evening on Tuesday (obviously!) 10th August at 7:00 for 7:30

  2. Saturday workshop on August 28th

  3. Les Thorne in September (14th)

Some of you know I work part time for Martin Saban-Smith doing odd bits and bobs as required. He emailed me recently, he said "Do you think you can come in on Saturday to do some work? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here."

I replied, "Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends."

He said, "Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?"

I said, "Monday."

  1. Tuesday members evening on Tuesday (obviously!) 10th August at 7:00 for 7:30

We are finally getting back together again next week. I am really looking forward to it and can’t wait to see you all. We will take care to have plenty of fresh air (weather permitting) and because we will have four lathes out (and not be crowded together in chairs) I tihnk we can be reasonably distant and not be too much in each others faces.

Obviously there will be plenty of hand-washing etc and we will be as careful as we can. It will be especially good to see people, but please don’t feel obliged to be there if you have any doubts. It goes without saying that if you have any symptoms then it is best to stay away this month.

We will be turning something in our teams that we have never turned before, nor have we seen it demonstrated. I did show it to Les Thorne last week and he said he used to have it as part of his demonstration cannon many years ago but not in recent history.

It is an item that is perfect for beginners, intermediates, and experts alike – but I am not going to reveal what it is until we see you on Tuesday evening. Tony Harvey and myself (I watched) turned an example piece last week, and it looks fab. I took the measurements from it and produced a plan for each team to follow.

We have the blanks already, and all they need are your tender touches to make the finished article. In my opinion they would make perfect items for woodturning shows, so you could make a few and have them in stock. They are also easy to use, and demonstrating how they work will sell the items quickly.

I have a picture of the top (or is it the Bottom?) of the one we made. I should point out that this gives you absolutely no clue as to it’s size, complete shape or its practical use. (It is not a kitchen implement)

Oh what fun!!

The shop will be open of course so if you need any supplies, then Ray will be there with everything you need.

That said, I am not a friend of shops at the moment. Returning from Wales recently (did I mention Wales?) I stopped off at the services on the M4 because I was thirsty and hungry. I normally shop at Tesco, MotorwayServices are outside my league. I wandered around and picked up a sandwich, a Mars bar, and a diet coke.

I went to pay and apologised to the cashier that I only had a £50 note.

She said... "It's OK, just put the Mars bar back."

  1. Saturday workshop on August 28th

Put a date in your diary and come and have some fun with us on 28th August. I have arranged sunny weather. Although this needs confirmation we will be doing something to do with bowls. Once again we will try to help novices on at least two of the lathes – so come along and learn something (even if it is new swear words courtesy of Harvey Grimwood!! 😊 )

Some people use these workshops as a chance for a social event – you can turn up, watch, drink tea, eat biscuits, complain about something (we are good at that – it’s an age thing) – do you remember when we were young in the 50’s, when we had to wear hand me down clothes…..

I had three older 3 sisters………

I was in the Brownies for 9 years ……

  1. Les Thorne in September (14th)

We are blessed in September when we see the return of one half of the woodturning Chuckle Brothers. Les Thorne in September, and Gary Rance in November. How about that for putting the world to rights at the end of a very iffy year. Two of the very best woodturners that the UK have to offer. We do have some new members this year – and I heartily recommend that they come to not just one – but to both of these evenings. I will write more in my next email, but Les Thorne never disappoints (I know his wife – this is true) and he even knows a funny joke.

So look out for next month when I remind you again, but keep September 14th free, and then November 9th free for his younger brother Gary Rance.

That is about it, I am off on the bike again tomorrow morning.

The good lady wife is coming as well, firmly strapped to my back.

We are going to explore Kent and have a ride on the Romney Hythe and Dymchurch miniature Railway. I know how to treat a woman!

So as I get older, I think of all the people I've lost along the way

Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me?

One final tip for you locals. I have now discovered the new LIDL at the Newbury retail park.

I am there all the time, they've got everything, I got fresh dog food, a wonderful Scottish steak, some nice veg, fresh milk, some lovely bread that they cooked on the premises and some fresh cakes cooked daily in the shop, a very nice riding hat and a skiing jacket, some welding goggles and an angle grinder.

See you on Tuesday evening!!

Phil Boulter

Vice Chairman

Kennet Valley Woodturners

M:07836 274345

H: 01635 826009

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