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I write occasional daft emails to fellow members of my woodturning club.  As we get new members, some of them are stupid enough to ask me for some of the older emails.  As time passes and the read them, they will learn never to ask again - but meanwhile I have to dig into my email archives and find old items and then send them one by one to the unlucky recipients.

You would think they would find more useful things to do with their lives than read the sad wittering's of this old fool and try to make something of their lives - but no!  Any that appear here will do so in reverse order, there are many reasons for this, but logic is the main driver.  If there is one thing I have - it is logic.  Not much else to be fair - but I do have logic.

I have only recently worked out how to put the pictures in, so many are still missing.  I will continue to work on it.

75 - KVWT Shavings

Good morning Internet - well it is as I start to type this.

I have been out for coffee this lovely sunny Friday morning and had to come back early as my glasses were steaming up. Perhaps it’s just me - but if a lady wears short shorts, then they do need to think about having a haircut if you follow my drift.

Lots of news today, especially if you need wood or need equipment. Due to bereavement or age and ill health we have some people looking to move lathes and wood and tools. I will include a couple of pictures here, but will try to arrange for plenty to be put on our web-site on a temporary basis.

Also- I want to give you a link to the recent demo by Emma Cook - the Tiny Turner.

I need to remind you about the Demo for August

A reminder about the Q&A on the next workshop day.

The Tiny Turner

So, to begin with the easy one. In July we were blessed with a demo by Emma Cook and it was a cracker. Not everyone was able to attend, but we have a video recording of the event for us to enjoy to see it for the first time, or perhaps to watch again. This does come with a warning and a very serious request though. On no account must this be shared with people outside of our club. This is private and paid for by Kennet Valley and it is Emma’s living. If it is shared with other people or other clubs then it is damaging to her - and also to our reputation as a club. Please - watch it by all means - ***BUT DO NOT SHARE IT WITH ANYONE***

John Boyne-Aitken

We are lucky enough to have the joys of long term friend of the club, John Boyne-Aitken on Tuesday 11th August. John suffers as he goes through life, what with him having to live with the fact that he is a genius, and like myself - cursed with being completely irresistible to women. It is a cross we bear with humility and have to work hard to resist temptation as women simply fall at our feet.

Once again, the demo will be online and I am absolutely sure it will be both fun and educational. I will email a link to the meeting as we get nearer the time to those of you who are interested. John is known as the bowler hatted turner, although it is fair to say that due to Covid-19 regulation his bowler hat has put itself in self-isolation and unlikely to make an appearance unless the government changes the rules slightly to allow for on-standard headwear. 😊

John has been to our club many times and each time he has made a wonderful impression. He is both skilled and also entertaining, something that not all woodturners can manage, so you will be correct if you are going to be disappointed if you miss him. I asked John what topic he will give us and it seems we are going to get a Christmas sea urchin. I didn’t know sea urchins celebrated Christmas (although after checking it turns out that apparently some of the smaller urchins are Strict Baptist).

Make a date in your diary and remember 7:15pm on 11th August.

Thank you

Thanks for turning up to our car-park shop last Saturday by the way. It was nice to see some old faces again, and to catch up. Sadly only one of Terry Buckle turned up, I don’t know what he has done with the other one - but about 5.5 stone of him is out there somewhere. He did look fit and healthy - keep it up Terry!!

The forecast thunder and lightning did not turn up while we were there, but due to the weather forecast Brian Collins had stayed away. I don’t blame him at all, it did look like the heavens were about to open at any time, but we were spared with just a minor shower, the rain came after lunch in the end. The trouble was the forecast was not delivered by Carol Kirkwood, (a fine figure of a woman) so we should have ignored it. Unless Carol says it, then it just ain’t so!!

Wood, more wood, lathes and tools.

You will remember that Nigel Amor, a long-time member of the club as well as a respected committee member was cruelly lost to in March. Sue Amor is sorting out Nigel’s wood turning paraphernalia and has asked if we have club members who can make use of it. Very generously Sue has offered the proceeds of the sale of these items to go to club funds, something which is very kind, and a wonderful opportunity for us to remember Nigel by. Nigel used a record lathe, it was a DML305. The Record Power DML305 Cast Iron 6 Speed Midi Lathe is ideal for the user who has restricted space in their workshop or needs a dedicated, transportable lathe for demonstrations, education or shows. There is a finely ground cast iron bed for weight and rigidity that is fitted with cam locking tool-rests that can be operated with one hand. It provides 393mm between centres and optional bed extensions can be added to increase the machines capacity. There is a 1/2hp motor and the swing over the bed is 305mm.

There is a very nice Camvac extractor as well, along with some other minor bits and pieces and some wood. I am arranging for some pictures to be put on the KVWT website and will send a link to you all once this is done. I need to be careful here because we may have to find somewhere to store this unless we can move it on very quickly.

I would suggest that people contact me if you would like to make an offer for the lathe and/or the Camvac. It would also be nice of all the wood could go in one “lot”.

As if this was not enough, there is another set of equipment. David Heather, a long time member, friend and supporter of our club if feeling his age. David feels that the aches and pains associated with being over 21, and the time taken out of the day administering medication and oiling the walking stick leave him little or no time for turning. It is with a heavy heart (and he does have a big one) that he is parting with all of him wood-turning equipment, and his wood. I went to see David yesterday and did battle with his carefully arranged cobwebs to take a few pictures.

David has what is now called a Axminster Craft AC370WL Variable Speed Woodturning Lathe (Davids is an AWVSL 1000 model). It is white and is exactly the same lathe I bought for myself a few years back and only sold last year. This is a very popular lathe and perfect for beginners and intermediate turners. IT is covered in dust and has some surface rust on the bed - but it is nothing a bit of wire wool will not shift. David has checks to accompany the lathe. There is also a Camvac extractor - just like the one shown above for Nigel. (Remember you only ever get one set of lungs!!). David also has a small Fox Mini lathe which is perfect for pen turners or people who make smaller items. There is a very sound Pillar Drill as well. Added to this is a belt Sander. There is a very nice - but also dusty, Band-saw - every turner should have one. There are two bench grinders, one of which is the very well respected Tormek with all the attachments!!

There is a new and heavy duty Fox F14-651 3/4HP Morticer - and it is still covered in plastic and has not been used! On top of this a large selection of various chisels.

Finally there is the wood, David has collected many prepared wood blanks as the photographs will show, but also some large charry planks which are now fully seasoned. It is fair to say that it will take a large var or van just to take the wood away.

As with Sue Amor - David Heather is being very generous and has said that funds raised here should benefit the club, something that I find most extraordinary and makes me even sadder that he is no longer turning, but along with Nigels lathe - determined to make sure that this treasure trove of equipment should go to members who will hopefully come to enjoy the hobby as much as Nigel and David.

The logistics of obtaining and moving these items is something we need to figure out. It is absolutely not appropriate to gather en-mass as we did for an “auction” last year - so publishing the pictures is current alternative and collecting this all at the same time is probably the best thing we can do. The other option is to find someone who is able to store it all on a short term basis while it is sold, so if anyone has a suitable location then please let me know as soon as possible please!

Both Sue and David are being very generous here and their offer will undoubtedly benefit the members of Kennet Valley as well as the Club itself. Huge thanks are due - but lets please see if we can make the most of these offers and clear them into the membership very quickly.

My contact details are below, please let me know very quickly if you are interested in any of the equipment or can offer short term storage while homes are found….

22nd August Saturday

As things stand, on 22nd August we will have an online Q&A session starting at 10.00am (while you are eating you cornflakes) IF you want to join feel free - I will post a link to a zoom meeting in the meantime.

We may well have some sort of short-notice get-together before that depending on how we get to sort out the items mentioned above - we may need help shifting and storing some of it.

In closing - a few rules I tend to live my life by…

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..." I answer "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

14. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

15. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

16. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now

17. You didn’t notice number 8. was missing

Contact me - I can’t shift all this gear by myself!!!! 😊

Phil Boulter

Vice Chairman

Kennet Valley Woodturners

M:07836 274345

H: 01635 826009

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