Sent: 09 July 2017 22:04 Subject: Kennet Valley Woodturners

Good grief – a lot is happening. I shall fill you all in as soon as I can – but first a quick email – and it will have to be quick, to remind you about Tuesday.

I am in Wigan. I don’t want to be here – but circumstances dictate. It is hot – same as down south, everything else is different. It is grim. I am sure there are a lot of club members who will argue with me and say how fabulous it is up north – to which I have but one riposte – what the hell are you doing down south if it is so wonderful up north? (apart from finding a job – valid excuse!)

Any road up. As I said a quickie – I am once again sat close to Wigan Pier – as previously stated – no beach, no sand, and as it happens – no pigging pier either. No idea some people.

Brian Milham is joining us as our guest demonstrator on Tuesday. Brian is a first timer for us, possibly due to the distance – we are really at the very end of his territory. Brian comes to us from Somerset. (There will be sub-titles available in case the accent it a bit heavy!) I understand the accent of course, being a member of Somerset County Cricket Club, but it may come as a shock to some of you.

As always I looked up our demonstrator on the interweb. I know which one I was hoping for, but I still think we are getting number 4!

We are very lucky to get Brian – his reviews from other woodturning clubs are very good, all of these tend to be in the Somerset and Gloucestershire area, which is where I am looking to move to, so I am pleased to see that woodturning is thriving down there. I know what Brian will be doing on Tuesday – but I won’t spoil it by telling you up front.

Any road up. As I said a quickie – I am once again sat close to Wigan Pier – as previously stated – no beach, no sand, and as it happens – no pigging pier either. No idea some people.eave until between 4.30 and about 5pm so I shall miss the start of the evening. I will get there as soon as I can and look forward to a loud round of applause if and when I eventually arrive!!

I wanted to get up here early today (Sunday) – but I got held up - it took me almost 15 minutes to get my wife’s bra off, I suppose I shouldn’t have been wearing it, but it was the weekend.

The Wi-Fi up here is awful. I suppose the wire from civilisation has a long way to stretch, and the roadworks on the M6 may have dented it – but it is hanging on – just about. It is like it was 20 years ago when we all had dial-up modems and waited 3 minutes for the screen to draw a picture. It is for that reason that this is a very short email, like I said at the start – a reminder about Brian Milham, and a very big hope that I can get down to the warm arms and welcoming smile of “down south” as soon as I can on Tuesday.

The customer up here is a bit strange – an ex-boxer, six foot four, perfect gym figure with a sizeable six-pack, biceps that would crush walnuts and a big bushy moustache. She does work hard though.

Any road up. As I said a quickie – I am once again sat close to Wigan Pier – as previously stated – no beach, no sand, and as it happens – no pigging peir either. No idea some people.

Tuesday night then! See you then!

Phil Boulter

Vice Chairman

Kennet Valley Woodturning Club