I write occasional daft emails to fellow members of my woodturning club.  As we get new members, some of them are stupid enough to ask me for some of the older emails.  As time passes and the read them, they will learn never to ask again - but meanwhile I have to dig into my email archives and find old items and then send them one by one to the unlucky recipients.

You would think they would find more useful things to do with their lives than read the sad wittering's of this old fool and try to make something of their lives - but no!  Any that appear here will do so in reverse order, there are many reasons for this, but logic is the main driver.  If there is one thing I have - it is logic.  Not much else to be fair - but I do have logic.

I have only recently worked out how to put the pictures in, so many are still missing.  I will continue to work on it.

30 - July 2017 - Kennet Valley Woodturners

Sent: 09 July 2017 22:04 Subject: Kennet Valley Woodturners

Good grief – a lot is happening. I shall fill you all in as soon as I can – but first a quick email – and it will have to be quick, to remind you about Tuesday.


I am in Wigan. I don’t want to be here – but circumstances dictate. It is hot – same as down south, everything else is different. It is grim. I am sure there are a lot of club members who will argue with me and say how fabulous it is up north – to which I have but one riposte – what the hell are you doing down south if it is so wonderful up north? (apart from finding a job – valid excuse!)


Any road up. As I said a quickie – I am once again sat close to Wigan Pier – as previously stated – no beach, no sand, and as it happens – no pigging pier either. No idea some people.


Brian Milham is joining us as our guest demonstrator on Tuesday. Brian is a first timer for us, possibly due to the distance – we are really at the very end of his territory. Brian comes to us from Somerset. (There will be sub-titles available in case the accent it a bit heavy!) I understand the accent of course, being a member of Somerset County Cricket Club, but it may come as a shock to some of you.


As always I looked up our demonstrator on the interweb. I know which one I was hoping for, but I still think we are getting number 4!


We are very lucky to get Brian – his reviews from other woodturning clubs are very good, all of these tend to be in the Somerset and Gloucestershire area, which is where I am looking to move to, so I am pleased to see that woodturning is thriving down there. I know what Brian will be doing on Tuesday – but I won’t spoil it by telling you up front.


Any road up. As I said a quickie – I am once again sat close to Wigan Pier – as previously stated – no beach, no sand, and as it happens – no pigging pier either. No idea some people.eave until between 4.30 and about 5pm so I shall miss the start of the evening. I will get there as soon as I can and look forward to a loud round of applause if and when I eventually arrive!!


I wanted to get up here early today (Sunday) – but I got held up - it took me almost 15 minutes to get my wife’s bra off, I suppose I shouldn’t have been wearing it, but it was the weekend.


The Wi-Fi up here is awful. I suppose the wire from civilisation has a long way to stretch, and the roadworks on the M6 may have dented it – but it is hanging on – just about. It is like it was 20 years ago when we all had dial-up modems and waited 3 minutes for the screen to draw a picture. It is for that reason that this is a very short email, like I said at the start – a reminder about Brian Milham, and a very big hope that I can get down to the warm arms and welcoming smile of “down south” as soon as I can on Tuesday.


The customer up here is a bit strange – an ex-boxer, six foot four, perfect gym figure with a sizeable six-pack, biceps that would crush walnuts and a big bushy moustache. She does work hard though.

Any road up. As I said a quickie – I am once again sat close to Wigan Pier – as previously stated – no beach, no sand, and as it happens – no pigging peir either. No idea some people.

Tuesday night then! See you then!


Phil Boulter

Vice Chairman

Kennet Valley Woodturning Club

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