I write occasional daft emails to fellow members of my woodturning club.  As we get new members, some of them are stupid enough to ask me for some of the older emails.  As time passes and the read them, they will learn never to ask again - but meanwhile I have to dig into my email archives and find old items and then send them one by one to the unlucky recipients.

You would think they would find more useful things to do with their lives than read the sad wittering's of this old fool and try to make something of their lives - but no!  Any that appear here will do so in reverse order, there are many reasons for this, but logic is the main driver.  If there is one thing I have - it is logic.  Not much else to be fair - but I do have logic.

I have only recently worked out how to put the pictures in, so many are still missing.  I will continue to work on it.

1. KVWT 25th April 2013

Updated: May 20, 2018

Hi there KVWT-ites.

Another month, and at last the weather has broken and we are getting back to some sort of normality. The sun has been seen on two occasions in the last week, and is making the garden grow, making our chickens lay eggs again and sees the start of the cricket season as well. Let’s hope is lasts.


Saturday 27th April sees us turning out for our monthly Saturday workshop and shopping avoidance. This month we are doing some off-centre turning, if you paid attention when Tony Halcrow came to see us in March you will be OK. If you want your tools sharpened – we can help you out with that as well. I will also bring my PC and show a slideshow of the pictures taken by the camera club last month.


Meanwhile your committee continue to look for a temporary new home for later in the year. You may remember that the railway bridge on the road into the hall is being raised later in the year – this will mean we cannot get to the hall and we will be looking for a temporary home. The newest committee member Mike Larby has been doing his best to get us into a hall (The Chute Pavilion) close to where he lives – sadly with no luck so far. When I saw the reply they sent him I must admit they seem to be running a pretty weird set of evening activities – see below:


Monday evening Shortmat bowls

Tuesday evening (Sept to April) Static cyclists

Wednesday evening Keep fit and ballroom dancing

Thursday evening Football committee meeting once per month

Friday evening Judo

Saturday afternoon Mens' football (Sept to April)

Sunday all day Junior football (Sept to April)


Now – I’m not sure about you, but I was thinking;

Monday – OK, indoor bowls. Must be a nice big hall and vey flat, perfect for us!!

Tuesday – Static Cyclists. Seriously !! Does that not take the excitement out of the whole thing. Are you not meant to pedal and then get somewhere? (I asked Mike – he said “The static cycling is a stop gap till they can afford a back wheel then off on the open road. A bit like turners who haven’t got a lathe are carvers “)

Wednesday – Keep fit AND ballroom dancing? Surely not. I wonder if it is possible (or even legal) to do a Paso Doble and a press-up at the same time. A flamenco in Lycra shorts and a sweat band? Something not right there?

Thursday – We like a good committee meeting, I wonder if they have the equivalent of a Ken Saxton – ruling with a rod of iron.

Friday – Judo. What no dancing? Surely a bit of tap dancing at least? What about some light moonwalking?


No luck there then?


Yes – before you ask, it’s been a busy month, I have not seen the office for 2 weeks. I have mostly been in Essex and Norwich. (I know – very glamorous). Early mornings. M4 – M25 – M11 and then work until late and travel back. I am knackered – and now enjoying three days in the office at Hungerford.


Tiredness is causing confusion I think, I was in the shower this morning and Claire called out to me. "Did you find the shampoo?" I said, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."


By the way – here is a tip, I know a fair few of you are retired, but if another person tells me that since they have retired that have never been so busy – they will get a slap. Seriously! Somerset are paying Warwickshire in the country championship this week, it is on the TV – but I will be at work. I am not happy!


I have to clear my desk while I am in the office, we are moving to a new office this weekend – and I have been there 25 years – which means 25 years of accumulated rubbish. I have to be brutal – but I have a feeling my car boot will be pretty full on Friday afternoon.


At least I managed to keep clear of London last week, what with funerals and marathon’s it has been very busy. To make matters worse I suspect that now that Manchester United have won the Premier League they will soon have an open top bus tour for all their fans - so once again the streets of London will be packed!!


Like I said tiredness is getting to me, last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.


My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am – what a cheek?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes


I am off to bed now before this gets worse – see you on Saturday all, otherwise see you on 14th May when we welcome Greg Moreton to the club. If you have seen him before you know he is good. See some of his amazing work on www.moreton.co.uk Also – the competition is a kitchen utensil so don’t forget to see what you can come up with.


…and finally - my budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta's.....you should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk

Cheerio!


Phil Boulter

Vice Chairman

Kennet Valley Woodturners.


From: Boulter, Phil (DSI) Sent: 25 April 2013 07:50 Subject: KVWT April

Hi there KVWT-ites.

Another month, and at last the weather has broken and we are getting back to some sort of normality. The sun has been seen on two occasions in the last week, and is making the garden grow, making our chickens lay eggs again and sees the start of the cricket season as well. Let’s hope is lasts.


Saturday 27th April sees us turning out for our monthly Saturday workshop and shopping avoidance. This month we are doing some off-centre turning, if you paid attention when Tony Halcrow came to see us in March you will be OK. If you want your tools sharpened – we can help you out with that as well. I will also bring my PC and show a slideshow of the pictures taken by the camera club last month.


Meanwhile your committee continue to look for a temporary new home for later in the year. You may remember that the railway bridge on the road into the hall is being raised later in the year – this will mean we cannot get to the hall and we will be looking for a temporary home. The newest committee member Mike Larby has been doing his best to get us into a hall (The Chute Pavilion) close to where he lives – sadly with no luck so far. When I saw the reply they sent him I must admit they seem to be running a pretty weird set of evening activities – see below;


Monday evening Shortmat bowls

Tuesday evening (Sept to April) Static cyclists

Wednesday evening Keep fit and ballroom dancing

Thursday evening Football committee meeting once per month

Friday evening Judo

Saturday afternoon Mens' football (Sept to April)

Sunday all day Junior football (Sept to April)


Now – I’m not sure about you, but I was thinking;


Monday – OK, indoor bowls. Must be a nice big hall and vey flat, perfect for us!!


Tuesday – Static Cyclists. Seriously !! Does that not take the excitement out of the whole thing. Are you not meant to pedal and then get somewhere? (I asked Mike – he said “The static cycling is a stop gap till they can afford a back wheel then off on the open road. A bit like turners who haven’t got a lathe are carvers “)


Wednesday – Keep fit AND ballroom dancing? Surely not. I wonder if it is possible (or even legal) to do a Paso Doble and a press-up at the same time. A flamenco in Lycra shorts and a sweat band? Something not right there?


Thursday – We like a good committee meeting, I wonder if they have the equivalent of a Ken Saxton – ruling with a rod of iron.


Friday – Judo. What no dancing? Surely a bit of tap dancing at least? What about some light moonwalking?


No luck there then?


Yes – before you ask, it’s been a busy month, I have not seen the office for 2 weeks. I have mostly been in Essex and Norwich. (I know – very glamorous). Early mornings. M4 – M25 – M11 and then work until late and travel back. I am knackered – and now enjoying three days in the office at Hungerford.

Tiredness is causing confusion I think, I was in the shower this morning and Claire called out to me. "Did you find the shampoo?" I said, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

By the way – here is a tip, I know a fair few of you are retired, but if another person tells me that since they have retired that have never been so busy – they will get a slap. Seriously! Somerset are paying Warwickshire in the country championship this week, it is on the TV – but I will be at work. I am not happy!


I have to clear my desk while I am in the office, we are moving to a new office this weekend – and I have been there 25 years – which means 25 years of accumulated rubbish. I have to be brutal – but I have a feeling my car boot will be pretty full on Friday afternoon.


At least I managed to keep clear of London last week, what with funerals and marathon’s it has been very busy. To make matters worse I suspect that now that Manchester United have won the Premier League they will soon have an open top bus tour for all their fans - so once again the streets of London will be packed!!


Like I said tiredness is getting to me, last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am – what a cheek?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes


I am off to bed now before this gets worse – see you on Saturday all, otherwise see you on 14th May when we welcome Greg Moreton to the club. If you have seen him before you know he is good. See some of his amazing work on www.moreton.co.uk Also – the competition is a kitchen utensil so don’t forget to see what you can come up with.


…and finally - my budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta's.....you should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk

Cheerio!

Phil Boulter

Vice Chairman

Kennet Valley Woodturners.

9 views0 comments